Children who have experienced violence or abuse may carry trauma into every aspect of their lives. Trauma can profoundly disrupt a child’s life, especially when they experience it in their younger formative years. Childhood trauma can turn even the smallest surprises or changes into overwhelming challenges, which can make preparing to return to school tough.
If you’re a parent or caregiver of a child who has experienced trauma, preparing them for that first day back can feel daunting.
To help make the transition smoother and more positive, our trauma and child trauma experts prepared some information and tips. These will help you understand trauma and support children in preparation to go back to school.
Understand Trauma
- Trauma is a disturbing or distressing event that someone experiences.
- Trauma can be experienced due to accidents, physical or emotional abuse, racism/prejudice and other forms of oppression, natural disasters, loss (death of a loved one for example), or something that threatens a person’s safety, mental wellness, loss of control or well-being.
- Trauma affects a person’s way of coping with anxiety, danger, and sadness.
Understand Trauma Reactions
Trauma affects how we feel, think, act and see ourselves in our bodies. Trauma reactions are the natural but often painful ways that a person may react to dehumanizing and life-threatening experiences.
Trauma reactions tend to fall under these four categories:
- Re-experiencing: Experiencing unwanted intrusive memories, dreams, or flashbacks of the traumatic event.
- Avoidance: Taking extra steps to avoid reminders of the traumatic event.
- Negative changes in thoughts or mood: Not able to remember aspects of the traumatic incident, or negative beliefs, self-blame, and diminished interests.
- Hyperarousal and/or Hypervigilance: Traumatized people can startle easily, be more irritable, exhibit risky behavior, have problems concentrating and sleeping.
Understand Trauma Reactions in Children Who Experienced Abuse
Managing Back to School Time for Children Who Have Experienced Trauma
As parents and caregivers prepare children for back-to-school time, there are many things we can do to make that first day a positive one.
Here are some tips for supporting children who experienced trauma as they prepare to go back to school:
- Create as much predictability as possible ahead of time.
- Create a back-to-school “countdown” where you and your child follow the calendar until their first day of school. Give them context while you count down.
- For example, “yesterday, you had 5 more sleeps until school, and today you have 4…”
- Find some time to go by the school in the weeks or days before school starts so your child can see the building and help them imagine their arrival. If you can’t physically travel, get a picture of the school off the internet that they can look at to get ready.
- Talk with your child about what will happen on the first day of school. Describe what their day will be like, the activities that you know they’ll be involved in, and your pickup plan. For example,
- “This is your school and on your first day, here is where we will walk inside…”
- “I will wait for you outside when school is over at X street.”
- Create a back-to-school “countdown” where you and your child follow the calendar until their first day of school. Give them context while you count down.
- Get kids familiar with the teachers and school staff.
- Many schools have a page on their website where students can see what the teachers look like. Show your child a photo of their new teacher and tell them their new teacher’s name. If they are returning to their old teacher, remind them of that experience.
- You can contact the teacher and ask them to speak with your child. They can tell you and your child what will happen on the first day. The more your child knows what will happen next, the easier the transition will be – and that’s true for all children!
- Give them an item as a symbol to better cope with separation.
- If your child has trouble being separated or away from you, think of something small they can take with them that helps them think of you. It can be a keychain, bracelet, or anything else that the school will let them bring that you think can calm them. Show them ahead of time so they can remember that they have it when they feel stressed.
- Prepare the teacher and/or school staff ahead of time.
- Consider calling or emailing your child’s teacher before school starts. You don’t have to tell them the details of your child’s traumatic experience, but you give them context.
- For example, “my child is going through a hard time right now, and it’s possible that they may feel some distress about all the new experiences on their first day. We have been preparing, but I wanted you to know. If my child seems stressed, they have a trinket in their pocket (bracelet on their wrist, etc.) that can help.”
- Consider calling or emailing your child’s teacher before school starts. You don’t have to tell them the details of your child’s traumatic experience, but you give them context.
Need More Help for Your Child? We can help:
We acknowledge the challenges that come with caring for all children, and especially children who experience trauma. Our advocates are able to offer additional guidance.
- Call the Safe Horizon Counseling Center: 347 328 8110
- Call our Crisis Support Hotline: 1 800 621 HOPE (4673)
If you and your child have never received trauma support for their issues, our Child Advocacy Centers may help. Visit safehorizon.org/cac for more information.