May 10, 2016
A trending Twitter hashtag in early May 2016 is teaching millions around the world an important lesson about relationship abuse: it’s not always physical.
Abuse is a pattern of controlling behavior that often (but not always) escalates into physical violence. It can start with negative comments about what you’re wearing, who you spend time with, or other subtle forms of manipulation. It can then lead to personal insults, public humiliation, and even financial abuse.
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but you’ve stopped hanging out with your friends because he kept getting mad when you did, for one reason or another
— ace ratcliff ♿️ (@MortuaryReport) May 4, 2016
#maybehedoesnthityou but he manipulates you and threatens to commit suicide if you leave him.
— LOAFANGURL101 (@KATHERINEALKA) May 10, 2016
As the nation’s largest provider of domestic violence services (including shelters, legal representation, and counseling), we at Safe Horizon know all too well the common forms of non-physical relationship abuse. Among domestic violence survivors:
- 87% say that their abuser insulted their family and friends.
- 62% say that their abuser made them do something humiliating
- 93% experienced economic abuse (preventing from working, harassment at work, ruining of credit score)
- 31% were pressured to quit their job
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but that doesn’t mean that the relationship isn’t abusive.
That’s why this hashtag and the conversation it sparked over the past few days are so important. Together, they can inspire those experiencing abuse to seek help.
Read some of the tweets that we found most moving from this conversation below and feel free to share your own. Tweet #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou and also tag @SafeHorizon.
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please call our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-621-HOPE or the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 today.
#maybehedoesnthityou but he says you should be grateful he doesn’t
— audrey honeydrone (@singing_ghosts) May 9, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he makes sure you believe that you’re too broken/damaged to ever be wanted by anyone else
— Just Juanita (@Just_Juanita) May 9, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he makes you apologize because you get upset and “acted crazy” after he did something to hurt/upset you
— Jaime Samiljan (@jsamiljan) May 8, 2016
If you are a dude looking at #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou, understand the different forms of abuse. It isn’t just physical. Be better, do better
— Kings (@kingsbruh) May 8, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but demands you follow his hair, makeup, dress code rules like your relationship is prison or the military.
— Lovely Sun Glitter (@AquafarE) May 8, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he uses your deepest darkest insecurities against you. The things you confided in him, in order to manipulate you
— YOUNG BOOZER (@sunfIIower) May 8, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he embarrasses you in front of friends, shares your nudes or private messages, mocks/disrespects you in public, etc
— Wife School Dropout (@aliciafiasco_) May 8, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but “I’m sorry” becomes a reflex, rather than something you say because you mean it.
— Lauren Aitchison (@thetartandevil) May 8, 2016
#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou is a hash tag to share with your teenagers. A teen couple looking cute together isn’t enough. Are they safe together?
— Lovely Sun Glitter (@AquafarE) May 8, 2016
#maybeHeDoesntHitYou but threw a huuuge raging weeks long miserable fit coz u cut your hair ‘without his permission’.
— Planet Thickness (@bad_dominicana) May 2, 2016